God: and so, adam and eve, it is your duty to name aaaaall of my beautiful creations, flora and fauna. my only restriction is that you do not eat from the tree of knowledge
God: also dont roll up the magical green leaves and smoke them
Adam: alright im gonna call this one a lion... this ones a monkey...
Serpent: hey yo adam why dont you roll a joint with me
Adam: i dunno man god said i shouldnt
Serpent: hey fuck god this shits excellent. all the other kids are doing it
Adam: ehhhh ok i guess
(later)
Adam: ehehehehe ok and you're the woodcock. ahahaha wood cock. and you're the great tit. hehehe great tits
Eve: (walks in eating cheetos) dude lets call this one the BLUE FOOTED BOOBY
Adam and Eve: (uproarious laughter)
God: cmon what the fuck guys

guhzoontite:

The Captain America twitter is the best thing to happen to the world, ever.

feministroosterteeth:

geejayeff:

aaajmachine:

I know you don’t like to talk, but you gotta do it for her.

Yadriel & Maria appreciation post ✿◕‿◕✿

HE SAID MORE THAN HE DID ALL SEASON. I THOUGHT HE DIDN’T CARE. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST BEING NICE AND LETTING HIS BABY MAMA SEE THE BABY THAT HE PROBABLY DIDN’T REALLY WANT AND BARELY LOOKED AFTER BUT I WAS FUCKING WRONG. I WAS WRONG ABOUT HIM. HE’S JUST QUIET. THE DUDE IS STOIC AS FUCK AND HE FUCKING LOVES MARIA AND HE LOVES THAT BABY AND IT’S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THE WAY HE GUSHES AND TALKS TO HER LIKE MARIA ASKED HIM TO DO BECAUSE HE WANTS HER TO GROW UP SMART AND LOVED.

But also look at how cute the baby is dressed in each visit. Who did that? Daddy did. But that’s exactly the kind of visual cue that gets lost when he’s getting judged for his bald head, tattoos and stoic (thuggish?) demeanor.

this was actually really important to me because there are tons of reasons for a person being fairly non-verbal. i really liked the portrayal of this relationship because she knows he doesn’t like to talk and it’s not really portrayed as problem for her, it’s not a problem for their relationship, she accepts him for who he is. but she knows that babies need communication for development and he cares about his baby so much that he makes such an effort to do it even though it doesn’t come naturally to him. and it’s so natural in that last scene, it’s so clear he does it all the time and i just really liked this part.

magnacarterholygrail:

so-treu:

LIKE SHE’S NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE ABOUT THE SHIT

religion: nicki minaj destroying and being disgusted at phallic symbols

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

loganmcowen:

xaldien:

loganmcowen:

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

"You’d be surprised", said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely "men can’t be raped" anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.

Yowch, disgusting.

romanovah:

[clint barton voice] natasha romanoff??? nah what a jerk what a— [trips] [hundreds of thousands of photos of natasha romanoff spill out of jacket] w-what  a fuckign asshole i these arent mine im just [gathering them up frantically sweating] listen i just listen fuck [thousands of pictures of natasha romanoff scatter across the floor] shit fcuk im holding them for sam just listen 

— Anonymous: hey arnold isnt an anime u fucking moron

hotwinger:

Then how the fuck do you explain this??

image

Checkmate, you weeabitch.

2 Types of Smutty Fanfict

shippingqueen:

  1. 32 chapter fanfict with actual plot before any frick frack happens
  2. one-shot where the characters are at some public place and then all of a sudden someone’s dick is in someone’s ass

there is no inbetween

S